Why do the majority of Russians just don’t give a fuck? Part 1
I understood something new about people.
I was getting electricity at night. You know, it’s not so easy to catch it nowadays. I wanted to edit a video overnight. And I did. I have windows on the ceiling, so I can’t sleep from the bright light. I tried to use a blindfold, but still I can’t sleep. The electricity goes out, so whatever. I still don’t sleep.
November 23th, 2 pm.
I write in the same psychological chat room with the Russians. I don’t know why, it was stupid from the start.
“We are being bombed again, just heard six explosions. I have a mobile internet. The 7th explosion, the 8th and 9th explosions. Oh, that explosion was close. Car alarms go off. I shuddered, the windows shook».
Some people write “please live,” “what a nightmare,” while others correspond in parallel about their own things. I’m not kidding. One of them even posts pictures of her hair or something and puts a sad emoji on one of my messages.
An important clarification: I don’t think everyone should have dropped what they were doing and run to help me. But I sensed a possible reason for their reactions.
No offense, but I made my conclusions.
I should communicate less with Russian psychologists, because 1) chat is chat, but therapy costs money 2) Russians (not all, and no offense) do not understand what war is and are unable to imagine it 3) in Ukraine, there are crisis centers that are much more pleasant to deal with in such a situation.
There is still some communication with Kyiv. My boyfriend is alarmed: “At any checkpoint they can give us draft notes, we might not be able to go anywhere”. Men have not been let out of the country since the start of the war. I write in the chat room “I’m very scared. I won’t be able to go anywhere, there’s no money to rent a place to live. There is only a cold winter ahead. I can’t work as normal — too often there is no light.”
Bombing the entire infrastructure of Ukraine at this time, it’s safer to stay. I apologize and say that I’d rather talk to people I know in Ukraine.
My boyfriend, and all the people in Kyiv, are losing internet and cell phone service. I have no one to talk to. I write some panic nonsense, but nothing I say or hear helps me.
I joke stupidly, “Anyway, if I suddenly die, at my virtual funeral, don’t forget to say “she had nice boobs. I’d like that.” I was in a drama queen mood. Of course, there’s nothing to think about.
After my boobs joke, one wrote “I won’t tell, because I haven’t seen them.” I sent him a video. He writes to me “not perfect tits, and the editing of the video is not very good”. This is a psychological support chat! Wow…
I write at 8:34 pm In Kyiv the light has given and my friends are also alive! Hooray, happy emojis.
I managed to call my boyfriend. And I cry over the phone to him.
If I had money and a car, would I be standing in line at the supermarket or in a traffic jam right now? I don’t know. I have no opportunity to check.
“I feel tension all over my body, especially in my legs, my chest is on fire, my eyes are watering, my back is tense too.” The girl from the chat room compliments me for expressing my feelings in this message.
And before that, what did I do? I didn’t even say once FROM WHO ARE THESE CRAZY BOMBS ARE FLYING. Dudes, I’m not even blaming them. It was one of the hardest days of my life. The support was only in that I was talking it out. Thanks for that. And for sad emojis.
“I can’t see a way out now. And I can’t relax.” I get asked, “What would you do if you were relaxed?”. I would sleep, I haven’t slept in 24 hours.
“Try body relaxation techniques.” Guys write, “Yeah, by the way, you’re very resilient.” I’m answering: “Thanks a lot for saying that.” I’ll try to believe.
An agonizing night began. I couldn’t sleep until morning. The advice to relax was very harmful in my situation.
The next day, I decided to seek electricity, internet and warmth in special public centers. And took a consultation at a psychological help center.
I thought about it for a long time.
I will share my conclusions about why the majority of liberal Russians (emigrants and opponents of the regime) exhibit such an unexpected lack of empathy in the next text. You would be surprised that the answer is not in propaganda.
